The Price of Grief. The Gift of Grief.

A friend lost someone important to her recently. And her tribute to the loved-one who passed on — is both heartfelt and remarkable. I know she is incredibly proud of him, as he is of her.

I know what it is to grief. I know what it is to feel. But I sat in the moment today — to understand grief for what it is.

It’s a burden you don’t wish on another. But I can’t help but feel that grief is a very necessary thing, and a very worthy thing.

This contrary nature makes it hard to offer an adequate response to someone grieving.

In the past, I responded with what I thought to be empathy — by identifying with the sadness felt. I made the mistake of occasionally wishing that the grief will pass, and the pain would lessen.

But not, I do not thing it would be an adequate response.

And today I found a new emotion that I hope, would complete the response. And it is that of gratitude.

Great people are worth grieving over… and we will all never feel that we’ve done enough with them, and for them; or that the world is ready for their departure.

Grieving is hard, and there are easy escapes.

We could numb ourselves — by choosing not to feel, or to feel as little as possible.

We could minimize our loss — by convincing ourselves that the other person had any lesser impact in our lives.

We could intoxicate or distract ourselves — with work, or alcohol, or any other activity that takes us away from grief.

Or — we could choose not to escape. But to face grief… just as we face fear… and to accept and experience every bit of it until it passes.

And when someone does, it’s a beautiful thing.

Because when you pay the price of grieving over someone great, it reminds us all — that life is worth living well.

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