”Loneliness… it sounds about right.”

My wife and I engage a coach to work on our personal growth. In a recent session that my wife had — he said something surprising, simple, and profound...

In the session, she described all the felt challenges that come with the job of homeschooling our two children, and from making tough choices to go against conventional wisdom, in nurturing their character and talents. 

As her partner on that journey, and as any homeschooling parent would attest — one paragraph cannot even begin to summarize the price we pay, in taking this path. Not that we regret it... in fact, far from it, we enjoy this very much. But it is not without sacrifice, and as she concluded in the session — it is a lonely journey. 

What our coach said to her after, came as a surprise. He paused, and after a while, said… “Loneliness… it sounds about right.” When we pursue our true and highest calling, when we pay attention to our deepest convictions, and when we choose to live according to our unique design… it would feel lonely, and it should feel lonely.

Friends and others may understand the logic behind some decisions, but many of them may not understand the full range of choices we make — especially those that defy convention.

So loneliness sounds just about right. And it is fitting, that being absolutely true to ourselves — calls for a certain form of detachment from everything else. To choose to be influenced, but in making the final call — to be independent of any single influence. There is no one else responsible for the danger of our choice. There is no one else who will experience the adventure of the life we choose.

The Jesus of the Christian faith had lived a life of loneliness. His choices seem absurd and foolish; he was a rebel, labeled a criminal and a god at the same time. He didn’t have to do a fraction of what he did, but he did anyway — all of those actions shoring up reasons for his eventual rejection, abandonment, torture, and crucification. 

Nobody ever sets out to be lonely. We’re surrounded by all the lures from loneliness. We are distracted by distraction itself. And we are distracted by safe choices that others have made. We’ve created a culture of mass production, predictable career paths, model lifestyles, and more.

So — loneliness sounds about right. It is the choice of all our choices — to be lonely, is to be found in the center of our unique design and highest calling.

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