“If you were a stranger, having observed yourself in the last few months…

What would you say you were working on?”

That was a question my wife asked me a few weeks ago.

Because in the last four months since we arrived in Melbourne, Australia — I’ve been walking up early every day to work from 4–7 am in the study; and then at a nearby cafe from 7–11 am… even on weekends.

Always the same cafe, the same seat, the same routine. Clearly not in an office. Possibly unbounded by a typical contract of employment.

But I was frustrated then. I was working on a couple of projects — and nothing seemed to be working out the way I wanted.

I wondered if I should keep on working on them. I wondered what was wrong… or what was missing…

I wondered if I was secretly unmotivated to solve those problems in the first place. In fact, I was worried that I was actually unknowingly unmotivated — because I couldn’t explain the inability to get what I wanted done, done.

It was was a good question… and a good distraction from the perplexity.

I thought deeply about it that evening, and the next morning, and again the next evening…

I examined all possible biases…
If the ‘stranger’ was a creative or marketing professional — he might guess that I was a ‘digital nomad’, designing, or working on marketing campaigns for remote clients. If the ‘stranger’ was an investor/trader, he might guess that I was working on a portfolio of investments. If the ‘stranger’ was a technologist, he might guess that I was coding.

I chose not to answer her question directly. But this was the answer that emerged from all the thinking…

“If I were a stranger, having observed myself (at work in the wee hours of the morning; at the cafe every single day), I would think — whatever this guy is working on, he sure is committed to it.”

And strangely… my frustration vanished, when I realised that my commitment overshadowed my lack of success.

I can’t explain it (yet)… but a burden fell from my shoulders.