An open letter to Mdm Soon Lee Yong’s son

Today — a Singapore newspaper — reported the story of a mum’s reaction towards her son’s PSLE results.

Not just any mom. She is the co-founder of KiasuParents.com — a site for ‘kiasu’ (colloquial for ‘afraid of losing out’) parents.

Her name is Soon Lee Yong. And she was promptly lambasted by citizens for her response to him.

I’m not naming her here, to shame her. No, I’m not.

I’m naming her because tonight, and the nights to come — her son will most likely be searching for her name. And I hope he finds this article.

He’ll likely be reading every criticism about his mum… in apparent support for him. And he’ll likely be deeply conflicted — because at age 12, it may be hard to know where to stand on this matter.

His own disappointment. His mother’s response. A nation that’s suddenly intimately involved in his life. Suggesting that his mother’s behavior is that which prompts children to suicide. And therefore what was possibly unthinkable… is now thinkable. A nation that now want to be his parent, and his mom’s. But a crowd without responsibility.

The whole nation (I say this only for effect) is making this a big deal. And I completely understand why.

But my friend — you with a PSLE score of 229 — the only right I have in this matter, is to acknowledge that neither I, nor anyone else, have any right to judge.

And without that right, I’ll just share what I’ve experienced…

There are few things greater than a mother’s love. The nation seems to have judged your mother’s action today. And severely so.

Only you can judge her for her love. And I hope you judge well.

I’m saying this — as an imperfect parent, and as a son who knows he’s dearly loved.

p/s: you have many offers for a Nintendo DS tonight… from well-meaning people. But I say a mother’s bitter, and imperfect disappointment — is a sweeter gift than a stranger’s reward.