5 Dangerous and Awful-sounding Principles for Life

I’ve been reading the lists that people make on their birthdays. You know, those ‘30 Realizations as I Turn 30’-type of lists…

When someone is spending a significant day, thinking deeply about life — you tend to get a higher-than-usual quality of thought from them. That’s why I love birthday lists.

It’s my birthday today. And I made one.

But there are already many smart (and palatable) ideas out there… So I ended up writing something that feels like the total opposite… it doesn’t sound smart; it doesn’t sound palatable. But it was more fun to write!

1️⃣ Get to Know the Monster in You 👿

I can be a monster.

If someone hurts my wife, children, brother, or close friends, I am absolutely capable of destroying them. More than that… I am willing. I know it well. And I’ve spent my life taming the monster in me.

In my active days as an infantry officer, my commanding officer told me — "if the enemy strikes your troops, you strike back 10,000 times harder than they did. Don’t let them get back up on their feet."

The knowledge of how far I can go — is the very thing that keeps me from acting on it. I find it hard to forgive at the start. But when I realize the extent to which I can wreak another human being, I start to back off.

2️⃣ Lie Consistently 🤥

I lie about things that don’t matter. And I’m consistent.

For the last 15 years, when asked, I tell people that I’m 28, going on 27. I lie so much, that that my body and my mind believe it.

Such lies show me how powerful Truth is. And so I’m brutally truthful about most other things. Such as this list.

3️⃣ Burn Bridges and Make Enemies 🔥

The conventional advice is — don’t burn bridges, and don’t make enemies.

Could be good advice. But I’m not taking it.

I’ve dealt with characters that lack integrity. I start with diligent introspection, asking trusted counsel — could I have been responsible?

When I’m sufficiently clear that I’m dealing with untrustworthy parties — I burn those bridges. I don’t care about ‘opportunities I might miss’. I burn bridges because I can build bridges, anytime I want. And I don’t want the wrong bridges standing.

Same thing with people. There are people who abuse children, women, and those unable to defend themselves. I’ll be clear — they are my enemies. I don't think I can be a good friend, if I don't have good enemies.

4️⃣ Don’t Trust Anyone. Especially Yourself. 😒

People and situations are rarely what they seem to be. Some people say something, but often mean something else. Some situations present themselves a certain way, but there’s usually another reality.

For instance, people don’t usually say what they are really happy or sad about. When someone leaves, or flares up, or dresses a certain way, or acts a certain way — they don’t always tell you the real reason why.

Sometimes, it’s because they don’t know the real reasons themselves. Sometimes they don’t want to confront it, or spend time thinking deeply enough. Always dig deeper for the truth. Unless it doesn’t matter.

5️⃣ Aim to Suffer and Die ⚰️

Pleasure is fleeting, and can often be poisonous. Overeating is a perfect example. Excesses in luxury, leisure, and consumption are another. They promise happiness, but I haven’t seen real, lasting happiness in them.

Suffering, on the other hand, sucks. But there is a deep happiness that can be found in suffering that doesn’t look like happiness at all. And when you survive a season of suffering, with loved ones around you — you will realize that it was a far more profound, and lasting, experience than the dinner buffet you last had together.

Take that further — and you realize this life is not about your comfort or safety. Nothing guarantees that we’ll live another day, or even make it home tonight, unscathed from a fatal accident.

There’s little nobility in the getting, and the savoring, and the preening. The fact is that people admire sacrifice, love those who give up their lives for others; and care very little for self-centered, selfish people.

Only when you’re prepared and willing to suffer and die, will you be ready to really live.

Happy Birthday, me.

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